“I’ve found someone else”

I’ve seen it in the movies. I’ve also heard it from friends. “I’ve found someone else.”

What is the appropriate response to such a statement? Should we be happy, or should we be sad.

If you say you’ve found someone, it means that you’ve been looking. But why were you looking for someone else when you’ve already are marriage to the one you love (or at least that what you said).

Very simply, it means that they have lost each other along the way. This happens more frequently that we would like to think. Most marriages that have ended in divorce has taken the following trajectory:

Before a couple becomes husband and wife, they were friends – best of friends, presumeably. Their dates were filled with conversation and discovery. But once married, friendship building is placed on the back burner. They think they know all there is to know about each other. Then, when baby comes, in a year or two, their whole lives now revolve around the new born. They see themselves more as parents and less as husband and wife. Before they have a chance to restore their marriage, baby number two arrives and the marital relationship goes down hill from there on.

This will go on till the kids are grown and have moved out, some twenty years later. By that time, they would have no marriage left to speak of. They’d be lucky to be able to locate their marriage cert.

I believe that every marriage can succeed, and every divorce is preventable. For a couple such as the one described above, all they have to do is to ‘find’ each other again. Do what they did during their courtship and re-discover the qualities and traits that drew them to each other in the first place. In short, go on dates.

If what I have described resembles your marriage, there is hope and help. Contact me and I will guide you back to love and intimacy through having 8 Dates with your spouse.

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